Friday, March 28, 2014

Knowing When A Date Is Going Well.

So, you have a date. You both show up at the coffee shop and say hello face to face for the first time. Then, you start asking each other questions about each other and the date begins. You're both probably a little nervous so, how do you know things are going well? Well, there are a few signs. 

  1. The first obvious sign is the ease and flow of the conversation. Once you get past the small talk, you may start to refer back to topics you've talked about previously on the phone or messages. If you both show interest and ask questions, there's little chance you'll run into awkward pauses.
  2. Body language. This is huge so, pay attention to what your date does. Watch for things like eye contact, smiling, and hand gestures. Constant eye contact is a good sign that they are interested in you. If they lean in when you're saying something, that shows that they're really interested. If they start mimicking some of your gestures, that's a great sign that they like you and feel a connection. Touching is a sure sign that they are very comfortable with you. Some of the red flags are things like if they keep looking at their watch or look away and if they keep their arms folded.
  3. How it ends. If and one hour date turns into three hours and it doesn't even feel that long, that probably means you two hit it off. At the end of the date, you both should feel a little more relaxed and maybe even a little sexual tension between you. At this point, it's probably a good idea by breaking the physical barrier by giving her a hug or a little peck on the cheek. 
  4. Follow up. You or your partner should follow up with a thank you shortly after the first date. Usually, within a couple of days. Your texts or phone call should sound a lot more relaxed now and there should be an invitation of a second date.
Of course, there are also some bad telltale signs to let you know that things aren't going so great too. Things like if you date is giving you very short or one word answers, the conversation is plagued with dead space silence, and the good ol' hand shake or pat on the back before they take off like the Enterprise at warp 10 at the end of the date.

In the end, don't have huge expectations for the first date. You are both there to see if there is any chemistry and if there are possibilities between you two. That's it. So, relax have fun and good luck out there.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Back In The Pond

First off, I am not an expert nor do proclaim to be. I had my first date when I was 15 and that was quite a while ago. Today, it is quite a different game than it was 20 years ago. Back then, we saw someone we liked, talked to them and if all went well, you'd exchange phone numbers and call to make a date. We didn't have online dating, email or smartphones to text each other. I was married for quite a while and only started dating again a few years ago. But I have to say, it was quite nerve racking. I just happen to be in sales so, I'm pretty comfortable to talking to strangers but something about meeting your date for the first time can make you want to be sick to your stomach. What will you talk about? What if you say something stupid? Those awkward pauses and what if they just don't like you? So, to start off this blog, here are a few tips for that first date. 

  1. Plan something short and simple. I would suggest coffee or a drink for that first meeting. If things don't work out, it gives you both an easy way to get out. I don't suggest movies as you don't really get a chance to talk to each other and dinner might be a little too awkward if you're stuck there stuffing your face with someone who you have no chemistry with. If the date goes well, then you can continue or even go for a walk.
  2. Don't be late. Especially, if you're a guy. There is nothing worse than having your date wait for you the first time you meet. For all they know, they might think they're being stood up.
  3. Be a good listener. Actively listen to what your date has to say. If they talk about their family, ask them about growing up with their family. If they talk about their hobbies, show interest and ask them more about their hobbies. 
  4. And of course, be yourself. Do not be someone you're not and don't try to rehearse for the date. You're date will probably sense it and will only bring on more awkwardness. Just relax, be who you are and have some fun. It will make things a lot easier.
And last but not least, just talk. Don't make it an interview. Just have a relaxing conversation to see if you two have any chemistry. Remember, your goal for the first date is just to see if you two should go on a second date.